I actually debated writing this out of concern that I may offend some of you. But then I realized no one reads this page. For the first 23 or years of my life I cared a lot about my appearance. I've always been kind of a big guy. For the most part I'd keep my hair trimmed up, if it was long it would be perfectly textured and styled. I was clean shaven and wouldn't let scruff get more than a day without being shaved off. Why? Because that's what girls like, right?
It wasn't just my outward appearance, but how I acted as well. I'm a weird person as it is, no one likes the weird guy. So all that stuff that I liked, the things that made me, who I am, I would hide. It worked for a while. I dated this very pretty girl, who fell in love with my powerful persona, but that's all it was, a persona. It wasn't me. The longer I dated her, the harder it became to keep up my facade. I hated wearing suits, I hated wearing button ups, I hated dressing like a boring adult.
I cut my hair short for this girl. I wanted to be the person she wanted me to be. But that wasn't me. She ended up leaving me for another guy and began to mold him into the person she wanted. I was obviously broken hearted about this. There were multiple life lessons I learned from this relationship. I've shared the more deep lessons in earlier posts. Which means if you are reading this, go back and look for those posts if you're interested.
What I am going to share with you is something that I realized somewhat recently. A lesson I learned without knowing it. After this relationship ended I started growing my hair back out. For a while I kept clean shaven but at some point I just stopped caring. I hated shaving every morning, I was single, I had no one to impress, so I just let it grow. I stopped trying to be who I thought people wanted me to be and started being who I was. I just let my freak flag fly as some would say. For the first time in I don't know how long I was being true to myself and it felt great so great that I've never stopped being myself for anyone. And you know what? My friendships are much better and genuine. People actually like the real me. And the people who don't? I really don't want those people in my life anyway.
Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I just go out smelling bad and wearing dirty clothes. I'm saying that I wear my hair the way I want it. It's long and curly and looks rather unruly (and that's when it's been combed) I didn't like shaving everyday so I stopped. Obviously I keep my beard maintained but in the way I like it, big and bushy. Some one once said I'd fit right in as a member of the Robertson family (Duck Dynasty).
What I'm trying to say is, men, be yourselves. Don't change because a woman tells you to (unless it's your mom, this doesn't work with moms.) If a girl is dating you, it should be because she likes you for who you are and not who she can turn you into and that also goes for you as well, If you're dating a girl it's because you like her for who she is, don't try and turn her into the girl that you envisioned from watching...like every Hollywood movie. Ladies, if you like a guy, he's funny, sweet, and caring, but he doesn't dress like the man you envisioned after reading a bunch of Nicholas Sparks books, you have two choices. If you wanna date him, accept him for who he is, and if you can't do that then don't date him. If you like him enough you won't care how he dresses or what music he's into. A couple should try to enjoy in each others interests. Even if you don't like doing a certain thing that your signification other is very passionate about the fact that you at least go with them to do what ever it is they do says something.
~HiMyNameIsBobby
